Healthy Competition

If I were to tell one what a hellacious ass-moving satanic heavenly beautiful ferocious fire the artist Kreeayshawn lights under my ass, it would be a gross understatement. I've never had my stomach turned, my guts wrenched, or my cells atrophy like they do when I see her image and face all over the internet and her name spoken from my friend's mouths, and her video relentlessly posted on my Facebook homepage. While her entire phenomenon physically makes me ill with jealousy (yes I admit she intrigues me), mentally it stimulates my brain. I gotta give it to her for getting the white girl swag to the mainstream first and in such a fresh way.

Imagine the internet as a pirate, Kreeayshawn's squeaky voice as its cutlass, and me walking the plank from a ship from the land of lazy thats been keeping me captive, into the beautiful freeing waters of creative dankness... this is the plank walk I am being forced to take now, and thank Goddess and Kreeayshawn for that, because I cannot allow this tiny cute thing to take my crown... I mean, I know there are more than one crown, but I (along with Nexxxus and BeNasty) are Queens of this Empire and she and her cohorts are the Princesses of the Lollipop Guild. I can see us all jocking each other as they gaze lovingly into our eyes while sucking the wisdom milk sweetly from our womanly tittays. But in the meantime I'm gonna slaughter this booj and her crew with the excalibur of dopeness... I'm just sayin....