Tuesday, May 28, 2013: The Rebel

Dreams:
I am playing some big show, my mom is there and I am running really late. I'm wearing my red worn shiny pants and Andrew's yelling at me for being so late and I'm being short with him. I get there and we realize I don't have my computer; I yell at Andrew, do you have my computer? He ignores me obviously because he's rushing around doing my duty. I find out he has the laptop but now I'm missing my set. There is a country western artist playing instead of me, and its a better crowd for that. Andrew asks me to talk and its about me yelling at him when he's trying to help me. I'm mad that he ignores me when it involves business. Then I'm stuck in some grand mall, a dream I've been having lately, that is full of vortexes and passageways. My ankle is killing me. I'm trying to find some department store. I run into a group of asian people who are adopted, and John Gray from high school, and a couple randoms who want to give me ecstasy and are doing huge lines of it. I warn them there's security a ways away and refuse the medicine. There are zebra shawls for sale everywhere, and I end up going to an all black soul sister type store, where I ask for directions. They tell me to go to this whimsical department store but its not what I'm looking for. They close up and I follow them, sure that they will know the way out. But they just end up going to a praise Jesus soul concert. I'm totally fucked.

Thoughts:
I have got to finish old projects so I can start on new ones. Also if I keep gaining weight I am going to be a fat girl, and an unhealthy symbol for my people. I'm going to be a S. I have got to commit to gym time, and healthy eating, and hold back from beer which is my favorite thing in the whole world! Yarrrrrr. I'm still recovering from my psychotic slip at Emissions. I remember pulling the integration card and I think I got a huge slap in the face from my alter ego who wants to be sober and get a lot done.

Meditation: The Rebel
The rebel challenges us to be courageous enough to take responsibility for who we are and live our truth.